When I run into classmates from junior high school, or my previous teachers, they almost always ask, “So, what are you up to?” I usually respond with, “I’m teaching.” Sometimes I get an, “Oh,” other times I hear, “Teaching what?” Other times, people have asked, “Where?” The bottom line is that most of the people I run into would never guess that I became a teacher, let alone a special education teacher. When I tell people what I do and where, they are generally shocked. “Really?! You?” is something I hear quite often. It can feel extremely awkward.
A reader might be wondering by now why people from my past would be so surprised that I am now a teacher. Well, my school record from kindergarten to fifth grade was fantastic! I was a model student; I always did well on tests and I loved to read. When I reached sixth grade, things were hectic outside of school. I will not go into tremendous detail, but my life was somewhat unpredictable and I had unrealistic expectations to live up to. I began seeking attention at school. I did not get attention for being a nice girl, or a good student, so I began to perform poorly intentionally. I wore ridiculous clothing, I was a bully, and I caused disruptions in the classroom. This behavior continued and got worse, hitting a low during my freshman year of high school. I really took pride in being a bad girl. I think that there are a lot of people who remember me that way.
By the time I was going into my junior year of high school, I realized that I still wasn’t getting the attention I wanted by acting out. I got plenty of attention at school from teachers and administrators, but I did not want their attention. I resigned myself to go back to my old ways and do well in school. I did not want to ruin my chances at college over this. I was cutting it very close.
Fast forward to 2006. I had earned my BA from Sonoma State University (in history) and I had worked at a local steakhouse for six years. I was tired of bartending and waiting tables. I applied for an opening at a non-public school as an instructional assistant. The school provides day treatment services to students with severe emotional disturbances. Most of the students at this school had endured severe childhood abuse or neglect of some sort. Working with this population of students was challenging; many of the effective strategies (like planned ignoring) did not come naturally to me at all. Still, I felt a passion for working with these students. I felt a connection with them, like I understood (to a certain extent) why they were acting out in such extreme ways. I decided that I wanted to teach these students and soon found out that it required a special education credential.
In January of 2007, I entered the education specialist level I program at Sonoma State University. My world was turned on its head! I took on an entirely different lens. I had to step out of my comfort zone. At the age of 23, I was the youngest person in most of my classes, and I was a novice. Many of my classmates already had experience in the general education environment, or had raised children of their own. I was humbled. I made it through the program as an intern teacher and waiting tables on the side. I continued on through the level II program at SSU, as well. I am now in entering what is (hopefully) my last semester working toward a master’s degree in special education.
The road I traveled to get here has been windy one. My perspectives and beliefs have been challenged and have changed somewhat along the way. I spent two years learning “the basics” of special education. Then, I worked for another year to improve my professional practice as an educator and perform action research projects in my own classroom. I extended the depth and breadth of my knowledge of special education by taking classes on special education law, advanced collaboration, self-determination, and progress monitoring. This past year, I have been presented with the challenge of pulling together all of my own prior knowledge and making connections with educational technology, my area of emphasis for my cognate project.
Ed tech has proven to be a challenging and worthwhile area of emphasis for me. I have become very defensive of my profession as a special educator, especially since I now work in a public school setting as a resource specialist. I see divisions between “us and them” that I do not believe should exist. They are not “my” students, nor are they “yours.” They are our students. Through taking ed tech classes, I have immersed myself in a population of MA students who are for the most part not special educators, but general educators. I have been able to take on the lenses of some of my classmates-honors English teachers, ESL instructors, art teachers, and people not currently working in a classroom. By learning from my classmates as well as from my instructors, I have been able to let go of the vast majority of my “win-lose” attitude and take on a more holistic approach toward my own pedagogical philosophy. The greatest part of my growth so far in my MA program has been the realization that technology is not about using the latest gadgets to engage students, but about becoming a better teacher by creating the most effective, efficient learning environments for students. I have also been able to express concerns as a special educator with regard to ed tech and equal access and opportunity.
In order to expose my true philosophy of education, I must first explore my beliefs about the purpose of teaching and learning. The purpose of teaching is to share information and experiences. However, much of what we do as teachers (especially special educators) is modeling behaviors and attitudes. We are responsible for mentoring our youth so that they may become open-minded, responsible individuals who have the capacity to be flexible and promote social justice-and change, when necessary. The purpose of learning is to reflect on our preconceived notions and become more open minded. Learning involves seeing the world through different lenses. In order to learn, we much step out of our comfort zones.
While teachers have a duty to teach the California State Standards in their respective content areas, it is my belief that the most important education that happens in our classrooms is a social and emotional education. This embedded education is much more important that teaching the Pythagorean theorem, or having students memorize the capitals of all fifty states. Teachers are role models, and we have a responsibility to model positive behaviors and attitudes for our students. In some cases, a teacher is the only role model a child has.
I believe in a few basic tenets related to education:
1) All children are capable of learning and should be treated as such
2) Teachers are responsible for providing a safe environment for learners (physically and emotionally)
3) Content and curriculum must be presented in meaningful, relevant, and engaging ways in order to reach the most learners
4) The true task of a teacher is to facilitate and foster learning experiences, not to transmit information; classrooms should be student-centered
5) All learners deserve to be challenged in the classroom (in a positive way, of course)
No comments:
Post a Comment